How to approach weird, wacky, and wild tender questions
Tender and proposal requests are notorious for including strange and irrelevant questions.
But if you think you're alone in feeling this way, just remember Mad Men’s Roger Sterling asking re the Jaguar RFP, ‘Have you ever been fired off an account?’ and Lane’s dry reply: “There are worse ones than that.”
In the full scene on the ‘art of accounts’ Roger’s advice is to wine and dine the client and get the answers to the RFP questions that way… I’m fairly sure this is not the way in the 21st century.
From the moment you open some requests for tender (RFT), it’s clear that the documents are often the product of Frankenstein-like assemblies - pieces stitched together from older tenders, rushed edits, or the dreaded stakeholder committee input.
The result? You’re left answering questions that range from slightly offbeat to utterly absurd.
Amusing? Definitely (after the deadline has passed).
Tedious? Absolutely.
My favourite weird tender questions
Here are some of my favorite eyebrow-raising questions:
What is your animal welfare policy?
Sure, this makes sense…except it was a tender for legal services. From an airline.
How will you contribute to the ‘Vibe’?
It’s Mabo…it’s the vibe! Apparently, this statutory authority was serious about something called the ‘Vibe Index’.
What is your brand?
Cue eye roll.
Has the Tenderer and any nominated subcontractors proposed in the Tender at the time of Tender been listed as terrorists under section 15 of the Charter of the United Nations Act 1945 (Cth)?
Well, that escalated quickly.
If completing this tender document has been a journey of discovery, what innovation or new ideas have emerged?
Journey to…where, exactly? Hell?
What political donations has your firm made in the last two years?
Aren’t we getting a little nosey here?
Please provide an extract from the chemical register.
It was a professional services tender…unless someone had plans to do some amateur chemistry on the side.
Please explain how you “horizon scan.”
Um, are we talking binoculars here?
Who do you consider to be your major competitors and why?
Ah, the ol' ‘give us market research for free’ trick. Classic.
Have you ever been fired from an account?
Oof! Diving straight into the awkward stuff.
Provide profit and loss statements for the last five years.
Whoa, slow down - it’s not even our first date!
Outline your experience in space law.
Houston, we have…no clue what you're asking for.
While these types of questions can make you feel like you’re trapped in an episode of ABC’s Utopia, it’s crucial to keep your cool. For whatever reason, these gems made it into the request - maybe thanks to a last-minute addition or even internal politics.
Best practices for responding
When faced with unusual questions, it’s tempting to react with a raised eyebrow or an internal sigh. Instead, try these approaches:
Remain respectful – avoid displaying frustration or contempt, no matter how bizarre the question seems.
Don’t argue or criticise – refrain from questioning why the item was included or pointing out its flaws (even if it's begging for it!).
Answer to the best of your ability – make a good faith effort to provide a relevant response, even if it’s brief.
Seek clarification if needed – If a question is truly unclear, ask (diplomatically) for additional context through the proper channels – try not to make the client look dumb.
Tailor to the client – try to understand the intent behind the question and frame your answer accordingly; there’s usually some logic, however faint.
Never skip questions – leaving items blank can disqualify your bid, so always provide some response, even if it's just to explain why it’s not applicable.
Potential reasons for ‘weird’ tender questions
While they can be frustrating, strange queries may have logical explanations (well, sometimes):
Cut-and-paste errors from recycling previous tenders
Last-minute additions without proper review
Attempts to assess cultural fit beyond just technical qualifications
Internal politics or requirements that kept the question in, no matter how nonsensical it seems
They simply ran out of time to properly vet and edit the final form of the RFT, leaving you to deal with the aftermath as best you can.
Maintaining perspective
Remember, evaluators may not have control over all the questions included. They’re also human!
Instead of getting hung up on individual oddities, focus on showcasing your strengths throughout the proposal.
By approaching even the wackiest and weirdest tender questions professionally, you demonstrate your adaptability and reinforce your commitment to meeting the client's needs - no matter how thoughtlessly they put together the RFT or how arbitrarily they choose to assess you.
Happy bidding!